consider yourself: friends & other folk

Source: stock.xchng / Mattox

who are they?

Think about the many people with whom you interact:

  • Who are the (non-family) people in your life–the ones you’ve chosen (or who’ve chosen you) to spend time with?
  • Do you have friends for different parts of your life? Work friends, neighborhood friends, mommy friends, hobby friends?
  • Do you have friends you rarely see but who still figure prominently in your life?
  • Who are the people are that aren’t really your friends but with whom you frequently cross paths because of work or common membership in organizations or because of their connection to others in your life?
  • Who are the people who have inspired, taught or mentored you? Who are the people you’ve taught and/or mentored.
  • Which of these people belong in your scrapbook?

journaling: This girl, Patty, is the one I trust . . . the one I’d want to be stranded with on a desert island -- well, that’s if either one of us actually wanted to be stranded on a desert island (we are not fans of camping -- even when allowed to bring a pillow). Why this girl? - I’ll say it again: I trust her.- She’s interesting.- She’s kind . . . really kind. - She’s smart . - She makes lists of fun things to do--(and I can tell you our kids appreciate this :p). - In many ways, we are “cut from the same cloth.” - She doesn’t whine.- She is EXCEEDINGLY capable.... and that’s just a few of the reasons this girl is one of my favorite people in this world.

how can you scrapbook these relationships?

  • Tell specific stories of times together with one particular friend or one particular group of friends, especially those that illustrate what your friendship is like and what it means
  • Scrap a portrait of one friend and of your friendship. Use “dash-facts” to cover a lot of ground, or journal your feelings in letter-form. (See “This Girl” above.)
  • Scrap a “directory” of friends including a photo and important details about how this friend fits into your life.
  • Scrap a page about yourself and what kind of a friend you are in general. What are your attitudes and behaviors around friendship? (See “Note to Self” below.)
  • Scrap a history or time-line of an ongoing friendship.
  • Scrap about what particular friends have “put onto your radar screen.” In other words what aspects of your current life are a result of a friendship?

priming the engine: ask yourself this

Answer these questions with NON-FAMILY members (or maybe a cousin who is like a friend—but not your immediate family). Also note – the people you list may be friends, they may be acquaintances, and they just may be people who cross your path.

  • who was the last person you SAW?
  • who was the last person with whom you SPOKE?
  • who shows up in your dreams?
  • to whom do you owe a call/letter/visit?
  • who causes you to have a “deer-in-the-headlights” reaction (in other words, you want to get away from)?
  • who causes you to want to make a cup of tea and settle in?
  • with whom must you spend time?
  • in whom do you confide?
  • with whom do you keep a distant but cordial relationship?
  • with whom would you choose to be stuck on a deserted island?
  • who would you trust to throw your next big birthday party?
  • who would you agree to help put on a community event?
  • who do you wish you knew better?
  • who do you wish you knew less about?
  • who irritates you?
  • who makes you laugh?

Based upon these answers, what are some pages you could make?

journaling: I enjoy spending time with friends -- but I’m not good at making time for it. This was a year ago January. Right now I’m a bit on the outs with Jill because of my infrequent appearances this fall -- right when I’d announced I’d be more available -- but all of a sudden Mondays are the only day she can meet and on Mondays, I need/want to work. It took me over 30 years to discover how much I like being alone -- and then once I had a family being with them. So . . . there’s only so much time to go around, and I’m stingy with it . . . but maybe I should be more generous in 08?

think about it: quotations about friends & other folk

Use these quotes as a way to think about the friends & acquaintances in your life.

  • It is in the shelter of each other that the people live. -Irish Proverb
  • Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. -Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. -Kahlil Gibran
  • Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. -Samuel Butler
  • Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to. -Arnold Glasow
  • Friendship was given by nature to be an assistant to virtue, not a companion to vice. -Cicero
  • It takes a long time to grow an old friend. -John Leonard
  • What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? -George Eliot
  • It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” – Oscar Wilde
  • One who knows how to show and to accept kindness will be a friend better than any possession. –Sophocles
  • Some people are electrifying, they light up a room when they leave. -Yiddish Proverb
  • Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives, and remembering what one receives. -Alexandre Dumas
  • I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. -Oscar Wilde
  • Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief. –Mark Twain
  • Sad people dislike the happy, and the happy the sad; the quick thinking the sedate, and the careless the busy and industrious. -Horace
  • Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. -William Dean Howells
  • Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. -Mark Twain
  • I wonder if we are all wrong about each other, if we are just composing unwritten novels about the people we meet?
    –Rebecca West

write it: journaling prompts

  • When I get good news, I always like to tell ____ first.
  • My first best friend was _____ and I picked her/him OR she/he picked me. (circle one).
  • When I’m at the grocery store and see _____ I usually go down another aisle quickly.
  • When I first met _____ she/he was the last person I ever expected to become so fond of.
  • I may be a little too dependent on _____.
  • The friend I’m most likely to disappoint is _____.
  • My friends and I most often get together at _____.
  • The friend I talk to on the phone most is _____.